Why are there so many egomaniacs on-line?

I have been a Category Lead for Epinions.com for over a year and a half. For the most part, I've enjoyed it. I've been able to help improve the database a bit, helped track down some serious bugs, and managed to get a few of my ideas implemented. And I've also been able to supply lots of input into which people truly deserve to weld the inflated rating power of Advisors there. In the process, I've met some pretty neat people that I expect I'll maintain even when Epinions is just a memory.

But there have been frustrations too. Every time an Advisor does something... anything... that is against the guidelines (no matter how small), I hear about it. People want to have Advisors who follow the rules. I really can't blame them. People who have the ability to sink reviews should be doing what they are expected to do. But at the same time, there are members who don't think that Advisors should do what Epinions has asked Advisors to do. They put "being nice" ahead of what Epinions has explicitly said it wants.

In a way, I can understand that too. Everyone wants to be loved and appreciated. No one wants to feel like they are less than perfect. This seems to be even more true on than it is in real life, though.

In real life, I think every person understands that he or she is a jumble of imperfections. Everyone makes mistakes every now and then. If we fall flat on our faces in the middle of the street, we look around with a bemused expression, get up, dust ourselves off, and go on. If someone sees our nosedive, we may be a little embarrassed, but deep down, we all know that anyone who might have seen our faux pax has done the same thing at one time or another.

But that's not the way people are on, at least not on Epinions. If someone points out another member's error, it's treated like some enormous insult.

"How DARE you give my off-topic review an off-topic rating?"

"It's not fair that you rated my review (that's clearly in violation of the User Agreement) down?"

"You're being M-E-E-E-E-A-A-A-A-N!!!!"

Say that last part with the plaintive voice of a two-year-old, and you'll pretty much have the idea about how some of these people react. It's insane!

No matter how many times this happens, I never understand that reaction. If the mistake is an honest one, then fix it. Instead of screaming at the person who pointed out the error, look around with a bemused expression, say, "My bad. I fixed it!" and move on. In the long term, there's no harm and no foul.

And if the error was committed on purpose, what's the point of crying about it? I mean, some people post things on Epinions that are just plain nutty. They do it because they know that someone somewhere will take exception to it. When someone does become offended, a subset of those that post that kind of stuff will carry on like they've been unexpectedly clobbered from behind. That doesn't make sense either. If they know enough about the readers post something that they know will upset the reader, why are they angry when the reader reacts?

I get the feeling that members behave this way for one reason and one reason only: attention. Or maybe it's just that these people are looking for someone... anyone... that will make them feel important and perfect.

Whatever the case, that type of behavior makes me sick! And it's the biggest problem that I've had with being CL. Members don't care what Epinions says that it wants or needs. They only care that someone likes them.

So the CLs end up in a no-win situation. They can't please the people who want Advisors to follow the letter of the law. And they can't please the people who want everyone to "be nice". I guess the best that we can hope for is that we please Epinions.

Posted by Grace at December 3, 2003 10:52 AM